The butterflies in the world

2012-01-28T01:48:00.000+08:00

"what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

this is surly a good time to pour in all those words of encouragement

or what you call, positive thinking

it's been some good years alone/single

as and when, someone comes along... didn't quite work out and then i moved on

until you came along.

will i be able to move on from you?

I'm not sure.

And for the record, this is the first time i'm feeling this way

there's lots of first in this relationship

The fights, the struggles

the never ending doubts and more fights.

perhaps i expect myself to be decisive and your indecisiveness landed you at the edge.

Friday night was probably the darkest night

endless quarrel.

still, i want you in my life.

How can monday be so intense?

2012-01-16T22:41:00.003+08:00

Guess what?

I did it..

All the hard work paid off, yet

I've got no one to celebrate this joy with.

Many a times, i do not post my thoughts on social media like fb or twitter because i'd like to exclude my life to certain people who understands my views and less judge the words i said?

It's been a hectic day in the office, I fought hard with my insecurities and finally the wall guarding it fell and I find myself breaking into pieces.

Over a simple critic that i would easily brush it off swept me away in tears.

I guess i'm just really tired fighting, subconsciously my system decides to fall apart.

everyday is a fight

we win some, we loose some.

what matters the most is never stop fighting.

Tomorrow i will be stronger

because that is the only thing i can do.

keep fighting, keep living, keep on keeping on.

LAST DAY OF 2011

2011-12-31T19:08:00.003+08:00

2011

Lived through the year with no regrets.

Worked like a dog for very little salary

Heart broke into pieces on 17 october as we bid goodbye to linda's mom

can't recall how much nonsense I've put through for guys

Never ran so much in my entire life than this year

Thankful for family and friends who stood by thick and thin.

Extremely thankful and grateful to my parents. my pillar. my life.

2012

FINAL YEAR IN SCHOOL!

The feeling of moving one step closer to your dream. priceless.

All for that piece of paper!

A leather bag, passport and lots of money.

I'd like to travel alone next year, visit places I've never been to, marvel at things, experience the cultures. and live by the edge.

At work

A true test of character. this is it.

My life revolves around people but people do not revolve around my life.

Never be afraid of getting your heart broken

Because they only make you stronger

PEACE OUT!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!

RANTING

2011-12-15T00:18:00.000+08:00

It's Friday tomorrow and I've yet started mugging for my MA paper this Saturday!!

ZERO understanding. I need a miracle!

side track.

you talk to me like I'm your kiddo, you correct me at all my grammatical errors with no mercy.

you said you expected more from me from the way I speak (via whatsapp)and you firmly asked me to stop using deep words, and use simple words.

all and all... you bring me up high and then throw me off the cliff.

one moment you're so nice to me, the next moment everything seems like a roller coaster ride.

you're no different from other guys.

especially the ones who expects me to be perfect. you're a smarty. I'm not.

I worked my life up here, I will not allow anyone or any circumstance/situation to bring me down. I'm just not like the other girls, I may be vulnerable at times but don't take it as an opportunity to put me down.

Don't treat me like your boxer! wear for a few days and then throw me away!

RAHH!

you're so mean and irritating!!

why on earth!!! why!

Of so many things to crush, i have a crush on you????

I can control my emotions but i cannot control who my heart falls for.

SUCKS!

AND I SEE YOU 5DAYS A WEEK!

with your beautiful smile and kick ass bod.

and still as irritating and mean.

2011-12-13T23:44:00.002+08:00

I'm the kind of girl who backs off when the guy I've a crush on has another girl along side him.

I'm not that kind of girl who throws myself at a guy. no I'm not.

I'd rather not get into a relationship to nurture a strong friendship.

I want to be in love with my best friend. (he)

I'm the kind of girl who believes that no matter what you do, at the end of the day the truth shall always set you free. (FYI) I'm not talking about God here. I'm talking about all the good things and bad things one person could ever say or do, no matter how long it takes it will always revel it's true colours.

Been pondering for the entire day for this entry, i was just thinking to myself if it's too childish to even write this way. I mean the whole entire character thingy.. you know? haha

boy, I'm amused at myself.

This sounds absurd. Sometimes i think to myself, maybe i'm thinking too much about all

the chemistry we've had, the amount of coincidence items or the places we've been and left memories with the previous half. While all that good stuff gets me on cloud no.9 there comes along another girl.

FML.

With regards to work. . I've never taken so many test at work and felt more stressful than preparing for my school exams. Tomorrow, I've got another test to clear and who knows over the next few days there could be more!

Brain fried! Accounting paper is this Saturday?

Not confident to pass, have to pass to move on to uni.

When failing was never one of your option, you will do whatever it takes to win.

we're constantly fighting our own battles in life.

I've got mine to fight for, I've got dreams to chase, I've got me.

DAMN tired. Zzzzzzz

2011-12-12T00:09:00.001+08:00

When i think about you, everything seems prettier

When we talk, i can't see anyone else

When you looked me in the eye, you tied knots in my heart.

I'm in deep shit.

Josh Rouse Flight Attendant

2011-12-11T23:23:00.000+08:00

2011-12-11T22:19:00.002+08:00

When i think about you, everything seems prettier

When we talk, i can't see anyone else

When you looked me in the eye, you tied knots in my heart.

I'm in deep shit.

Sara Bareilles - Gravity (VEVO Presents)

2011-12-11T02:23:00.000+08:00

Even the words fits like a finished puzzle

I guess, this is what people mean> > > " when the song sings about exactly how you feel"

2011-12-02T03:18:00.002+08:00

Days that calls for celebration such as valentines day/Christmas/new year count down

are also days most people commit suicide because when others are celebrating with their love ones they are bleeding on the inside and until the blood runs dry on the inside, the only alternative is to bleed on the outside, the physical, the reality. which eventually leads to death.

It is always the new year's eve and valentines day that got me

as you get older, you accumulate events that collates so much memories that haunts you some how, but I don't really fancy celebrations cause it's more than that, it is always the people that counts.

When all your friends are attached and you're single, sometimes feeling a little empty on the inside is normal. Fill that void with something better worth pondering for, like the good things in life.

Always so thankful and grateful for everything that I have in this life

I'm already blessed in every area of my life.

He's timing is always the timing.

you can't rush what's already planned for your life nor stop what is coming.

you can walk into it knowing that He will never give you something out of your capacity.

Rainy nights, spinning head, time for bed.

2011-12-01T04:48:00.002+08:00

These words and feelings have zero gravity and they appeared exactly how it looks like in space.

Every night I walk pass my parents room and as I watch them sleep.

There's this uncontrollable wave of guilt and burden that crashes upon me like I'm the shore

of certain beach.

I wish someone could understand how this feels.

wouldn't it be nice if I still had someone to talk to on the phone like how it used to be?

while all the technologies are advancing, some things should remain vintage.

>>(like talking on the phone for hours)

Today, i walked into a place that my being felt really uncomfortable for the longest time.

There's this certain atmosphere that allows a person to feel that they belong to a certain circumstance? and there's also one that the being rejects. I happen to step into the one my being rejected completely, while i used to have enjoyed myself in that very place but today i know i'd never step in again. I felt stupid, the people there need to get a life, most of them are weird. haha

Today, also happened to be the class test for management accounting.

while the question seemed easy, I probably did really badly. 10% of overall grade.

I pray that whatever time remaining to the final paper will be clear enough to understand, there's only so much hard work one person can do, if the question is not precise it'll be redundant for me to work so hard for these numbers and formulas.

Sometimes, I think I'm lost. It was liked trying to be someone new while living in the old self.

I probably was lost since 2007. Have i found myself yet? nope. I'm in the new and the old.

how complicating does that sounds uh? No surprise when new pals looks me in the eye and tells me how lost those eyes looked.

you can have goals, and that is all good

but without dreams and visions one perishes.

constantly torn by what I want to do in life, what I need to do and what I love to do.

dreams VS reality and needs.

Can't they work out together you may ask. Yea, but i've got no courage and confident that i'd make it. And what really seems like it's happening now is that i'm putting those dreams aside and attending to what I need to do this season or years so forth.

Torn. But I believe somehow God's plan is better than mine.

I choose to just put my trust in Him, it's amazing how He's still a huge part of my life even though I haven't been an on fire christian for almost 4 years now. 9 years ago I accepted Jesus into my life. That is just one of the best decision I've made in life.

you can't shaft what you believe in, into someone's life.

the most you could do is to live out the kind of life what you believe in has taught you.

Alright, my eyes are really tired now.

and boy, it sucks going to bed only at 5am when i've been trying to go for morning runs.

That's all.

Zzzzzz . . . ...

2011-11-30T00:58:00.002+08:00

idk why the potential company who likes me alot have yet called to confirm my position with them, but some how having a full time job now may just be the best season. Looking forward to coming back home after work and school dead beat and collapse on my bed.

At least, I don't have spare time to sink into spirals of deep thoughts and insomnia.

Dear God, if this taking is for me.

May they call me to inform the good news (:

I'd be delighted.

2011-11-30T00:47:00.001+08:00

Funny how it says "Smile" and WALL. E's expression makes me want to cry.

2011-11-30T00:28:00.000+08:00

I'd rip every single piece off cos i need it so badly

2011-11-30T00:07:00.002+08:00

you know it when you still haven't got over a person and

it hurts like hell to see the person you like with another girl yet you can't tell nobody about it.

how about some holiday photos uploaded on facebook, dinner on the beach in bali ?

I wish my stalking skills were as good as my accounting...

friends, lovers or nothing.

we were friends, almost lovers, now we're nothing.

what i need to do now is. .

1. Mug for my test later

2.Go for a long run

3. Wake up and pretend as if everything is okay

4. repeat No. 1

5.Go for drinks.

Breaking Your Own Heart - Kelly Clarkson

2011-11-28T03:13:00.002+08:00

You're breaking your own heart

Taking it too far down a lonely road

you say you just want love

but when it's close enough you just let it go

the very thing you've been the most afraid of you've been doing from the start

breaking your own heart...

Too many tears, too many falls

it's easier here, behind these walls

but you don't have to walk in the shadows when life is so hard

2011-11-27T03:30:00.002+08:00

"One Day"

was great, if I could exaggerate, every female in the theatre cried buckets and I didn't shed a tear? hello, that makes me feel abnormal! Or rather I'd like to categorise myself in the "emotionless" ones.

I'm so tried of people who complaints of their lives and how their mind perceived that they've unfortunately fallen into depression or how their relationship turned out to be

and in the midst of it all, tumbled into another ball of mess.

My social media wall has been pretty messed up.

which is also one of the reason why i've stopped accepting request from both twitter/fb, not because i don't like you but simply because i know i've my messed up days as well, and just in case i've loose my mind and posted some stupid stuff it wouldn't pollute your walls.

The (trying to put myself in your shoes) theory. yes?

Side writes.

Some people strive to be perfect even though we know perfection does not exist.

These people face the noises inside of them louder than any volume human ears can withstand.

Often, it isn't a matter of choice, it was as if they were chosen and engineered in a spectrum of precise thinking that every act or word delivers certain form of meaning that they themselves could not articulate. These people are often sad because they are trapped in the sequence of thinking they could not express to others the way they want to, they are forced to be strong and stay strong though out every circumstance and environment, failing inevitably isn't an option available. Nevertheless, as much as the human eye judges according to the acts and superficial happenings be glad that there's always someone higher in authority in control.

Time check: 4.06am

There's a blister behind my front teeth on the upper deck, my tongue has been flirting with it for the whole night. well it isn't a ulcer for sure!

2011-11-27T03:27:00.000+08:00

2011-11-17T20:15:00.002+08:00

Everytime I read through my previous entry it kinda made me go like . . .

Ewww, what was all that writing about?

It is even English? to a certain extend I am never pleased with the way I write.

I'm so flawed by imperfection sometimes I'd sit in my room staring into blank space. Takes me quite a bit to warm up from getting out of bed..

Maybe that's why i'm never on time. . . with those 2 walls of full length mirror decked in my room creates an impression of a vain pot but really it's like a shared item in the house, my parents would pop by the room to check on themselves and maybe pop an eye on their sleeping one and leave for work. So yeah, shared item. alright we're at the same page now.

let's just say i'm trying to write better today, and hopefully you won't be bored out by this entry.

A pen for thoughts..

Looking out the widows at my workplace seems like a pretty awesome view if it'd be my kitchen in the near future baking cakes, cooking for the family, gatherings, Christmas dinners.

sounds all fun and seems all so pretty.

my mind repeats images of dempsey quite frequently. haha, don't you just love that place?

I mean it's the only place in this city where skyscrapers don't exist...

It's just all these little shop houses with nice restaurants and lightings and humans.

What a nice place to date "someone" to, really.

If you're a guy reading this and you have the power to spend this is just one good place to bring your date to..

Ps cafe> I've been bragging about how nice it is even though i've not been to the one at dempsey yet! can you believe it? bragging!

Well it's thursday and I've landed myself a full shift at work, which wasn't what i was looking forward to at all.

but well, thursday will end anyway so i might as well LIVE it.

Friday's near! YAY! who doesn't look forward to friday?

Gonna be getting a hair cut tomorrow but then I've no clue what I'm gonna do to this locks of black straight hair... probably just gonna sit on that chair and say something like.. Jacky(my hairstylist) just do whatever you wanna do to my hair. .. haha...

KIDDING!

Wouldn't go for really short ones, but who knows?

Surprise! Surprise!

Did i mention how lagged this baby acer red net book is? I've lost all my data including MS after reformatting...

My dad suggest: Why not i take over your net book and you get a new one?

I'm blessed and very pampered. I suggest, MAC BOOK.

Finally, things comes when i least expect them to. didn't ask for it they just appear :)

Now, should i get mac book air? or pro? well, i've got time to think! before 2012 that is, better be before school starts AGAIN.

Maybe I need to get a good job first. Crossing finger, praying and walking into one.

Views

2011-11-14T01:39:00.004+08:00

Jobs are like relationships

Once trust is broken, it's barely gonna work out

Once you no longer feel like turning up for work, you might as well end your stay.

Better for both parties isn't it?

Well, I do see this 10 month with them coming to an end.

Love the people i work with, but I've got to move on.

It's been a ride, weekend has been really good

I used to think weekends are meant for dates,

dates with guys, dates with girlfriends

dates with cliques.. this weekend I dated my parents.

I guess, being able to come to a place call home at your lowest would make you realize who will stands by you unconditionally. your family. never mind the number, there will always be one.

They've witnessed me at my lowest, nights when i sleep walked, and sleep talk.

They knew, but when i questioned they would tell me "I can't remember, it was late"

honestly, I know I must have mumbled some really stupid stuff that i could not express in the day and had buried inside but sleep talk/walk will reveal them out.

And that is something i can't control. HOW IRRITATING!

Nevertheless, every time i sleep walk/talk my mom will always be the one who guides me back to bed, amazing huh? How did she even know I sleep walk in the first place? I'd always laugh when she tells me "hey, you sleep walk again"

The most recent one was so funny, LMAO seriously.

My dad was so sweet, he knew i had a paper on Saturday and offered to send me to school before he starts his day at work. when my mom had told him that i sleep walk again he actually said..

" this is horrible, she's stressed out with her studies. I better lock up the windows" Well, that made me laughed for quite a bit, but also put a smile on my face :)

I have too much words buried inside

No i don't see how displaying on social media can change the situations

I just feel better not adding negativity and self pity on a platform that would affect people reading it on their time line or fb page.

"I will allow myself to be hurt so the pain remains so vivid that i'd never forget how painful it feels to not allow myself to ever be in that pit again" Visit all the places we've been, yes i will. Even if it means it'll replay our time together I'd do it just so i remember how much you've hurt me to forget you at last.

hell it hurts. but boy, if i'm brave enough to love you i'm strong enough to forget you.

okay! Time for bed! :)

2011-10-27T20:55:00.002+08:00

But i'd be okay. .

she can never be down for too long. .

Plans are only plans

2011-10-27T03:18:00.000+08:00

Big plans

Impossible says I m possible.

What if?

Why not?

Don't want to die with any regrets, I'm just a ordinary girl with some really huge and out of my league dreams. Knowing i'd only be at best in that particular industry, running with that dream.

Road ahead looks dim, rough, and very very little sleep.

But the arrival of every morning is a sign of hope

I choose to believe in my dreams, believe i'd get there some day

you are never too old to learn

you are never too old to chase your dreams

you are never too late.

as long as i'm alive, i will never stop chasing

no regrets.

now, i've got to get back to my assignments :)

sound proof walls

2011-10-26T07:40:00.002+08:00

Wants sound proof walls, that i may scream so loud yet no one hears.

that i may cry it all out yet no one could hear

SOUND PROOF

and i'll be all okay like sun shine after the rain.

SB.TV - Jessie J - "Casualty Of Love" - A64

2011-10-26T07:08:00.000+08:00

James Morrison - I Won't Let You Go

2011-10-23T02:14:00.000+08:00

Two is better than one

2011-10-22T02:11:00.000+08:00

In memory

2011-10-20T06:14:00.006+08:00

kinda don't know how to go about with this entry cause the heart is mourning. . .

well, my bff/little sis's mom just passed away on Monday evening after fighting with gall cancer for 5 months, she fought so hard but lost the battle and took her last breath upon the arrival of all her close ones.

Our hearts mourns as linda's mom is like one of the closest moms we could possibly hang out with, she is always so easy to get along, so cheerful, so close to our hearts.

And defiantly, very genuine and loving.

I will never forget those times where you sat at the edge of the sofa greeting hellos when you saw me at the gate in cheerful high pitch accompanied with a wide smile, how you cooked dinner and generously asked me to stay over for dinner, Chinese new year greetings to you and how you'd ask to take care of linda during her low times.

We all know that your love for linda is far fetch from all the other mother's love, like a best friend, best mom, you were the best.

I will miss you so very much. our whole clique will do too.

Rest in peace aunty. you remain alive forever in our hearts.

Thank you for all the wonderful memories.

RIP.

Tourist Friday

2011-10-14T17:57:00.004+08:00

@ starbucks 313, alone.

This is the first time I'm here or rather sitting at a coffee place with my lappy and plugs on and not MUGGING! haha, these days are rare. Especially today!!

boy, my feet are so tired from all the walking! :)

So here's what happened, I woke up late, prepared and traveled to work and when i got to my work place, my colleague already started setting up the shop, turns out to be her working today and I'm supposed to be at home sleeping!

Talk about miscom.

So i loitered in town, thinking what on earth should i do...

should i go home?

should i visit places i wanna go but always didn't have time to?

should i this.. should i that...

Until i could finally not tolerant myself being so unproductive at the shop muching old chang kee curry puffs, I finally decided to get things going!

So here it goes, I wanna be a tourist for a day.

Traveled down to MBS, visited kim and walked around just marveling at the structures... the building, the people. and just about everything....

The Helix Bridge

Which my feet have yet landed on. Still.

I wanna make this first time special, it's a nice place to stroll with someone at night especially when the lights are lid... okay, laugh all you want.

It's just a bridge isn't it? you may ask? well.... guess it's

Worth waiting for the right one to walk with :)

oh, just before i go on, let me share my joy! Yesterday was like one of the happiest moment! like whatever. no, i'm not going to be all bimbotic about this.

but I got my shoes!

It ain't SPERRY nor VANS but Dr Martens!

WHY?

I couldn't get the specific design for Sperry

Vans has already been a part of me and it's working perfectly

Toms alike is spoilt :(

So here comes dr martens! :D:D:D

I'm actually wearing them right now, boy they hurt. Actually went googling about how to season these boots? And they suggested some really extreme ideas like soaking in warm water? (which i defiantly wouldn't try) Smart alex: wore my usual socks for pumps and i got beautiful fresh blisters from them! HOW SMART!

Life with dr martens day 1: Got approach by Abercrombie&Fitch personnel to work for them at their store and some other modeling agency the moment i stepped out of cine. haha:D this boots sure get some good attention! I'm starting to love em more already.

Oh they still hurt!

Hopefully, it'll be all seasoned by the end of this month!

Rocking this new look welcoming lots and lots of happy moments:)

Complain again?

2011-10-10T15:27:00.003+08:00

Read through most of the blog entries today, especially the latest one.

Oh boy, i do complain alot.

OKAY... need to stop complaining.

1. Nothing good to say don't say

2.Only think about a person/event's good points

3. Be thankful and grateful for all the little and big things in life.

That 3 points should help! :)

Been feeling quite empty since my paper ended, I guess it's only normal after mugging everyday consecutively and then suddenly you when don't have to makes you feel out of place, well I'm just glad that corporate law is up next!

ARGGHH! I want to do so very well badly!!!

DISTINCTION BABY!

Remembering ' The boys and the bars can wait"

Gosh, they came in so timely.

Dear R, you keep me hanging no where....

and i don't know why i'm hanging, maybe because i do see us going somewhere.

hang on :)

Wrong Timing

2011-10-08T20:37:00.003+08:00

You know, i'm not exactly thinking at my rightest mind after not sleeping for more than 24hrs, had a paper in the morning, visited a friend in the hospital which totally broke my heart, dated my parents for dinner and realize they've aged

and have become extremely clumsy, everything they do worries me like

if they might take a fall, things they eat worries me if that might

cause their cholesterol to rise, diabetes which may get worse, and your failing kidney.

Above and beyond all that I loved them.

But it's extremely not helpful when a call comes in and your boss tries to argue with you.

If you think you're right, so be it lah. I'm too lazy to argue with you, it's a waste of my energy to argue with people who only wants to feel good about themselves.

So fucking tired mentally, just want to hear some good news soon.

Signing off!

Denied short break

2011-10-03T17:39:00.002+08:00

Taking an illegal short breather while i'm suppose to focus and write on my assignments...

well,5 assignments in total and i'm at 4..

Submission on wednesday, have yet written my executive summary : /

Trying not to fall into stress zone, been drilling into my head daily that i'm not stress.

Kinda like living in denial. Exam this saturday, oh boy. 2 days to mug it all, failing is not an option! :(

3 things on my mind.

One- So much more to write, hey. you're doing well.

Two- Received application from SGH today, very prompt reply from them. Gonna get them filled asap, what an opportunity it is. Last night, momsy just spoke about being overseas under sponsorship randomly, talk about timing.

I have yet spoke to my parents about this application since nothing is confirmed as of now, it is not like I got selected for the interview already so yea...Not keeping my hopes high, chances are low but my faith is sufficient in God.

If it's for me, there is nothing the world can do to stop me from walking into it, if it isn't part of the plan, no matter how hard i try it would be in vain.

Three- Dear R, I miss you like crazy but exams is taking a whole lot of shit in me.

Hope that everything at your end is good, you'll pull through those tough times and come forth as gold. This distance is incredible, but silly at the same time. I'm scared to death about my application, thanks for encouraging me to take that first step. Will never know if i never try.

Alright, back to assignments.

Keeps coming back for more

2011-09-29T22:53:00.002+08:00

Major sigh...

sigh..

Just came back from dinner with R.

Even though it was barely 2 hours I learnt to appreciate these moments, they keep me coming back for more... driving me crazy blogging now that is.

Your schedule is so packed! This is what happens when you're in love

with someone out of your league. I need to fully understand that you won't even have time to catch me while you breath, eat or sleep.

Is this what I want? Can I? Really?

Honestly don't know how long more I can tahan not spilling the beans.

Obviously if i tell R how i really feel, we might not even meet again, WORSE CASE SCENARIO.

And boy, i'm not willing to take this risk. The price is too high to pay.

Conclusion> One step at a time. . . very slow and small ones. . .

Will you hang around long enough to be us? :)

Love has lots of uncertainty and trails even before it begins.

After 5 long years, jumping into the waters again.

Missing R.

2011-09-28T00:59:00.000+08:00

you make me want to slap myself in the head all the time...

for asking you stupid questions, for our dinner dates, for your over use of "la" in our convos.

BUT I LIKE IT! :p

Our text message interval is 12hours, believe it or not i'm enjoying it.

Now i'm getting pinched because he replied fb status 3hrs ago on his wall

but totally forgot about me!

In linda's context of expression: *Pouts*

Gees! What is happening to me! haha

Thursday will be a good day.

2011-09-27T16:37:00.002+08:00

It's so hard to focus when your mind is constantly so drained.

Mentally tired, its shitting me.

No amount of coffee is helping, driving me nuts.

you're taking too much space, now get out and let me focus on what i have to.

Cafe Americano

2011-09-27T03:40:00.000+08:00

Worrying is so redundant.

I tell myself that I've tried hard enough over the past few days and it's getting no where

Gonna show my lecturer whatever I have later, hopefully some advice would be given so i can complete the case study due in 7days.

Fair time frame to work with, just need to strike that balance.

Have some confidence vans! you can do it! you will do well!

Roller coaster

2011-09-25T14:45:00.003+08:00

You can't search for love, you can't choose who your heart falls in love with.

Time will tell.

Burning midnight oil

2011-09-22T03:29:00.000+08:00

20% into my case study.

Time check: 3.30am

Isn't it sucky to find out that you're most productive during wee hours?

Lots and lots of research and referencing up ahead, 11 days left for submission, fair enough duration for just one case study. sometimes you read through the question so much, you've got so much words inside your head but none on the screen.

I'm stopping for tonight, will continue at work later! :)

Had a good run earlier, you don't know how far you can go until you decide to push yourself.

6k tonight, will i hit 10k? I wouldn't know until i try! :)

Is Saturday gonna happen for us? The ball is at his court, he decides.

Not having any hopes though. haha

Tdy we had a debate over food, it's so funny.

His favorite spot is chomp chomp while i brag about bedok block 85s yummy food.

Words stuck in my throat

2011-09-21T16:43:00.002+08:00

Missing you so much yet i can't utter a word

Wanted to tell you so much yet there's too much risk involved.

Hold on, it will get somewhere from this no where!

hope for the worst, remember be still.

Stress bug

2011-09-20T00:44:00.000+08:00

Many times when i want to exclaim that i'm stress, then i thought about trillions of people who might be in a even more stressful situation that i'm in. I turn mute.

Works the same when i want to shout out that i'm tired too. There are billions of people out there who are more tired than me, who am i to shout tired when i get to rest.

Work wasn't stressful at all.

School is.

Absolutely disconnected in class today, it was freezing.. brain not absorbing at all.

Exam in 18 days, i'm trying to connect the dots for this module and it sucks because it's way deeper than it should be. Can't they just illustrate things simply? oh, we have this thing called "case study" 3000 words. Next year, my case study would consist a minimum of 10,000 words. HELL YEAH! FML! i better do well. I expect myself to do well, my expectation for myself is sky high. Because it is the only person who will not disappoint me is me.

Great morning :) If only every morning is like today!

And I just realized my schedule this week looks amazing, call me workaholic please.

Mon- RM

Tues-RM/Sch

Wed-RM/Sch

Thurs-RM

Fri-RM

Sat- FLEA MARKET

Sun-RM

It is not because i'm a workaholic la, but really because i'm earning too little!

Not forgetting that it pays pathetically. Please help me to pull through this week and i would appreciate lots if i'm well and healthy. Don't give me migraine, don't anyhow faint, don't flu, don't fever. Just be well!

PHEW>

Finally i'm on my bed, breathing. not face-booking. haha

It's been a week! I didn't wake up to your text this morning, was a little sad but got over it.

Then ta dar! your text still came in before i reached workplace. Was expecting your reply in the evening or during ur lunch but to no avail... got a hunch that you had a bad bad day so didn't text you till 9ish in the night, so right. women's 6th sense. BINGO.

Wish i could talk to you but decided not to, thought you might be too tired, or already fallen asleep since by the time i replied your message was like what... close to 11pm?

That was how late my lessons ended tonight!

Still controlling myself emotionally, never letting this heart go wild again.

Focusing on what i have to, studies. Easier said then done, those who went through this phrase of uncertainty would know.

still waiting to catch Crazy Stupid Love!! rahh!

Pixel

2011-09-19T23:28:00.004+08:00

Pixel.

I'm so in love with Tumblr. Really.

Everyday people upload pictures of their voices, and these photos communicates all over the world. On this platform called Tumblr.

Amazing stuff.

I find myself reblogging many of those photos in a day, most of the time it tells how i'm feeling at that moment. Sometimes they inspires me, other times it's just way too good to not reblog after.

Can't even begin to explain, there is so much talent out there.

And i sincerely hope that their talent gets discovered one day.

Pretty much seems like my life is like a puzzle, slowly revealing pixels and bits of this life.

I met someone awesome lately, it's going really slow, 100% uncertainty.

Again, i'm not having any high hopes! just taking things slowly. . . very slow. . .

i love how slow it gets actually, you kinda know if it's love or just a crush as time passes?

Gonna confess something really gross on my blog.

I think about us so much, i dream about us every night even though we're pretty much

nothing now. I'm not sure about future, but it's nice dreaming about us and waking up to see

your text message just made my day. you surely sleep very early, after 9pm you vanished into lala land and you wake up very early too, before 7am for sure. you amazed me constantly and gave me new prospect in life, when i look at you i get so motivated to do well in life. Thanks :p

*OKAY, EVERYBODY WHO JUST READ THIS I KNOW YOU'RE PUKING NOW*

What more could i ask for? Is he the one?

Only God knows.

My job is to wake up every morning and move on with life, keep moving.

Life goes on! :)

When the wheel turns

2011-09-16T01:53:00.000+08:00

Just had a great wonderful Friday with my favorite people on earth!

It's this close to perfect. Very thankful and happy.

Robert Tims @ wheelock serves all day breakfast and pretty lattes.

Contagions at lido shaw was good, I'm so glad to finally found someone who enjoy such

movies with, laughs at the same scenes, and share many common food places.

It would have been perfect if it didn't end so fast. well, i couldn't ask for more. It was that good.

A date in the longest time, a real one.

He asked me out, he opened every door for me, he paid for the bills, he paid for the movies.

It felt so natural and good.

FYI: I'm not a cheapo, usually i'll feel obliged to take out money or even go on dutch.

Every girl deserves to be treated like a lady. Gentlemen still exist.. phew.. haha

I don't know if there's a second, ain't keeping my hopes high to avoid disappointment.

Guess I've had enough of those shitty days. haha... I'm a 100% all in kind of girl, it takes longer than you think for me to be alright after every shitty set backs. Now i'm back on my feet, all i could ask for is that balance.

Gosh, I wanna do so very well for my studies well-ly!!!

It's so hard, but it's all in the mind.

Hard work will pay off, most often unseen, unspoken in the naked eyes.

PUFF!

*Pack for flea

*Stalk my favorite people on FB

*Preparing my heart for tomorrow's talk

*MUG :(

*Set alarm clock

*Pray

CHECKING OUT!

Silence usually defer the extreme in reality

2011-09-07T14:28:00.002+08:00

First day back in school> Fucking stress

Waited for someone to reply my message since Sunday > Fucking Emo

Was the only one sitting alone in class> Can it get any better?

Was also the only one who couldn't answer my lecturer's quest on current affairs>ULTIMATE.

I swear the journey back home from school was one hell of a emotional ride, all i want to do is

cry in the toilet or something. I was so upset with myself, I went to bed at 12am, tried to i meant, without my usual dim lights and soft music it was weird.

Couldn't breath, couldn't breath, those deep breaths were so depressing!

It was such a stressful atmosphere, and it's not even in class it was on my fucking bed.

Literally felt like my body's collapsing.

I whispered a prayer, and the rest was forgotten.

I thought about those conversations so much that i dream about them every night.

Now it feels like i'm on the highway too fast enough to step on the brakes.

Am i falling again?

Are You gonna pick me up? again?

Oh God, I'm so tired even though I least deserve to even say that.

Yes, i least deserve.

Fucking emo, so fucking fucked up.

Too stress, too stress.

I got to de-stress. take a CHILL PILL

Every one craves to be loved

2011-09-01T02:24:00.003+08:00

Purposely came home late today, was greeted by momsy's breathless cough

while dad must have been tossing all night trying to sleep.

Ain't no idea why it's so vexing?

Worrying wouldn't help, thinking too much or too deep is just pure nonsense that i totally

foresee myself doing.. oh this sounds bad isn't it?

STOP VAN!! STOP! you have to STOP!

Not put them at the back of your head, not saving them at the front page of thoughts

but STOP drowning into the negative side when a life vest is thrown at you, stop throwing

that vest away when you obviously can't swim well!

If there's someone i'm most unhappy about in life and often get frustrated at it would be MYSELF. When you point at others 4 fingers are pointing back at you.

Well, I had a productive evening with some of the most genuine people on earth

discussed some plans, and boy i'm excited to take off!

There's so much going on in life sometimes I just don't know where to schedule a time to do the right things at the right time. Maximizing every potential, working harder, smarter....

This sucks but honestly, i'm not working hard enough like how a 22yr old women should.

It pays to be a dream catcher, knowing my capability, capacity, and attitude in life, the only time i settle for a full time job would interpret that I have to take a break, earn the big bucks and catch another bigger dream.

School is so starting next tuesday! YAY!

One step closer to graduating, one more year to prepare for the full launch.

Just want to stay genuine, confident and strong enough for this world.

Only true gold can withstand fire, only the truth can withstand trails.

BLOOP

2011-09-01T01:44:00.000+08:00

Crashed my own plans today, like dropping stones on my own feet.

was supposed to be at ikea, do the laundry and clear my room.

I was all dressed and ready to head out until my imbalance hormones affected me.

sounds like a complete excuse? yea, i thought so too.

So traveling to Ikea was off the list, i did the laundry and that was around 2pm?

well, it didn't end up on the poles until momsy came home at 5.30pm.

This is by far the laziest i could ever get at home, don't even want to hang the clothes!!

soon dad came home, kinda watched some tv together with momsy as well for abit... and boy, this is strange... I find myself in silence, unlike the usual chatty self. It was as if i am not me, didn't felt like staying at home.

Got out just before dinner, watched Smurf at the cinema, mac-ed to try out the new cheese shaker fries, ain't that awesome... bean curd city aftermath. It was good.

Excited and excited.

Working at Comex in afew hours, looking forward to giving my best over the next

3 days... I hope no awkwardness surfaces? Totally recalled my last show working, it was all good except during meal time, i'd rather not eat than go through that time eating n feeling lonely. HAHA!

I'm not anti social alright, just that it feels weird.

haha, let's just say I'm gonna stick to the positive side yes?

It shall be great, far better than good, it will be great.

great sales, great crowd, great people to work with.

Somehow every show from now, i'm reminded of you.

you were with me then. oh well!!!!

BOOO HOO to you!

Just when I'm allowing myself to trust again, you blew it.

Attempt to create a new blog for my nonsense: FAILED

2011-08-31T15:18:00.002+08:00

Heavy is the heart as the elephants are getting bigger in the head, i'm loosing sleep.

The burden is weighing, but all things are good in His hands.

I could see in your eyes, you're sad.

your speech of unfairness to why it happened so suddenly without any warning or sighs.

Don't worry we'll be here with you. Dad, I love you.

My dad is sick, one of his kidney has died.

There are stones in the spoil kidney pressing against other blood vessels

No surgery can be performed at this moment, it's non cancerous. Quite common actually.

Nevertheless, the vessels rupture once they could no longer withstand the pressure life could be threatening. He'll have to be wheel to surgery immediately.

All i ask from God is that I'll match to be the donor if dad ever needs one.

2011-08-22T00:55:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMSY!!!

You're the best mom ever!

Thank you for loving me, you're my everything in everyway (:

I'm damn fortunate to have you in my life, and i'm so grateful to have a home to come back to at the end of the day knowing people in this house cares for me, cooks for me and loved me.

Thank you for supporting my decisions in life, especially in the area of my studies...

I LOVE YOU MOM! :)

OHMYGAUD...

he added me on fb, my heart must be racing at 180 or something..

Chuckles.

Been thinking about him the entire day, seems like he never got out of my head

at all. I'm living in the past. damn.

haha.

I like it this way~

Bet all of ya reading this entry is pulling your hair and grabbing a bin to puke at how gross

my words sound yes? Well, he's just a eye candy and will always be a eye candy until some miracle happens. haha....

If there's a queue for miracles, i'm on that list!

On that side note, I'm so looking forward to resuming school on 6 sep... jitters.

Perhaps I should put it this way, looking forward with excitement and nervous at the same time? now how does that sound? Oh why nervous you might ask, because this sem the class is bigger and boy, I've been out of school for some good 9 months... enough time to make a baby isn't it? Haven't been writing nor using my brain much... haha!

So here it is, paying the price to work doubly hard once school resumes.

Hard work always pays off, but i've gotta learn to study SMART!

I'm so gonna pester my uni friends soon, there's a reason they're in local uni and i'm not right?

so much to learn from them, and they are good at mugging~!

Clearing my table to prep for the battle! CHIONG AH!!!!

Side note 2.

When was my last run: July.

So that means my hubby haven't hit the road in August yet?

Hemmm.. i don't know about you but this sounds like vanx is lagging from some serious

discipline to sticking to her momentum in running!

Gonna spend some quality time with hubby(running shoes) soon! :) :) :)

2011-08-20T21:04:00.003+08:00

Silly entry

A simple "Hi" and short conversation with you makes me smile like crazy.

Doesn't even matter if you're attached or single, I dare not even dream of being with you

but hey, i like it this way.

I feel so stupid.

Hell ya i do. He changed his fb, added everyone i know except me.

I changed my mobile so i lost his number.

Well at least i still have his twitter!

Very silly uh?

Oh yea, we're talking about some old time crush here.

Gonna pick up my guitar and write some songs again, my neighbours are so used to my singing that they kinda ignore me totally. If i were them i think i might start shouting! (SHUT UP!) haha

I don't sound awesome at home, usually i go out of tune? trying to hit a higher note but totally went like crap, so yea... i miss singing, i miss writing songs.

I love moments at home alone in the living playing my guitar, singing out loud... and that is enough. acoustic moments. ahhh.... love it.

Life is good the moment you decide to think that it is good.

There are too many times i loose control of my thoughts and drown in negativity, but i blame my hormones!

TOTAL RANDOM: The only thing i hate about being a women is when menses are here

They drain all my energy for the 1st 2 days, makes me moody, and loose so much BLOOD!

But vannie's got everything in control with pink pill around!! :)

yay! :)

2011-07-23T01:24:00.000+08:00

Lord, give me a little more courage

I don't want to be weak no more, You're the solution to all.

Please make me stronger than I already am.

Vulnerable

2011-07-23T00:18:00.000+08:00

The most vulnerable day of the year is not 14 feb, but 6aug.

It is the only day in the entire year that matters the most some how...

When i was a kid, i envied all the other kids

When i was a teenager, i still envied all the other teens

When i grew older, i tried to put my feelings away and handle this shadow maturely but still. .

Everyone has weaknesses, me too.

I'm sorry that this day matters so much to me, it is the only day i feel accepted and loved.

Thus I don't know how to live like its a normal day like how others did it.

I'm not them, i'm not you. and you're not me.

Honestly thought it would have meant a little less important to me after last yr's 21st birthday bash, and 22nd would be easy on me. Like a breeze, more than happy to just meet up with few friends for dinner. That's all. That is all i ask.

And they tell me, they wouldn't want to squeeze with the crowd because my birthday falls on a Saturday. Any idea how hurtful that was? And that came from someone really close. Double the hurt. Is it because Saturday is a dating day for you and it gives you permission to say that it's gonna be a crowded day eating with me on my birthday and not with your other half?

Nevertheless, it seems like those whom i treasured and loved don't love me as much as I've loved them. Oh, i know this sounds awful, ridiculous and absurd.

But hey, this is from the bottom of my heart. Honesty and truth at 100%

Everyone has their partner now, everyone has someone to do their favorite stuff with, visit places they want to go, eat their favorite food, hang out, watch movies ect. .

And boy, i'm happy for all of them. But I can't help feeling forsaken. Please don't get me started on the other group, they are not only attached, they are attached to much more other stuff that I have stop bothering them completely. It is as if i do not exist anymore once any of my friends gets attached.

And i know and i know, they will say.

Since when? we still hang out don't we?

Put myself in your shoes.

NOT SELF PITY OKAY.

I'm prepared to sob this year.

On that useless day that i wished it didn't matter so much to me.

Am i even asking too much?

Haha, i'm thinking too much i think. Time for bed.

I'll buy myself cupcakes on 6aug and blow the candles in my room alone.

cry for awhile, hug my pillows and head to bed early.

And i'll be fine.

2011-07-20T23:25:00.002+08:00

This photo is so sweet

Can I date this man in the photo already?

Kidding!

He's got that charming face i adore, and with him hugging the dog it just makes me melt.

Recently, it seems like i'm getting the big picture of how selfish i am at home.

Or even as a person. Really just taking my parents for granted.

Momsy tries her best to cook even though she's so tired from working in the day, and I've seen her at work. It breaks my heart a little more. Dad gets out of bed at 5 am sometimes 4am to work, he comes back home in the evening, have dinner goes to bed before 9pm and continues another cycle 7days a week. No rest.

And today, i bump into dad in the lift and we came home together... he asked if I've managed to pay my historical bill which Momsy had helped me to pay half earlier this month. So i replied yea,the bill have been cleared.

He then went back to his room and back to mine. Left a stack on money on my table and said. "Girl, here's your birthday present in advance. $***( in Cantonese) and i'm like how much are they? haha, my Cantonese can be quite bad sometimes. Then i asked, why so much money? he said, you can go and buy your iphone or ipad? whatever you want for your birthday :)

*MELTS*

The deepest cry of my heart is for them to retire. and stay healthy.

Please let me give my best for they've given me their best.

My parent's language of love is giving me money, providing for me, bringing me out for dinners.

This may not be the way that i imagined the kind of love i need like hugs, kisses, words of encouragement ect. But that's alright, because they loved me the way they loved me.

His love is sufficient for me

Their love is enough.

I'm filled.

Tonight i'm thankful and grateful for every thing that i have in life, many of those i do not deserve but still freely He gave. Blessed it is to give, than to receive.

2011-07-19T15:54:00.001+08:00

oh my gaud

SO FREAKING CHILDISH!!!!

Unbearable pain

2011-07-15T16:00:00.003+08:00

No pain hurts more like the news of a broken dream

shattered into million pieces, crushed like trash and dumped into the bin.

Yes, a broken dream hurts more than a break up

but on the bright side, dreams can be resurrected and dreams do no betrayal.

I don't need another break up, another person to hate.

you cannot blame me for being a bitch to you, you cannot expect me to smile at you.

But i'd forgive you if you'd ask.

My itchy hands churn upon your status update on fb, and my hands clicked.

I'm happy for you, i really am. I'm not broken.

It was tears that rolled down those cheeks before it could react to any form of pain.

Once again, disgusted.

I was taught not to play with other people's feeling, but i'm the one being played all the time.

The above mention were 2 separate items. and i shall move on to what I initiated to write

This morning i woke up finding momsy at home, usually she would have left for work before i'm awake, so while brushing my teeth i asked her if it's her off day, she replied that her right thumb have been swollen since the night before, they hurt intensely and blood flow of that thumb didn't look quite good. Obviously the next question to ask would be how did it happened? did you knock against something? or something heavy fell on it? Nope, she answered. All she said was the doctor said it could be a infection.

But how to have a infection without injuring it?

The doc even prescribed 3 different pain killers for her, asked her to take for a day and if the swelling doesn't subside, the doc would have to perform a minor surgery to release the bad blood from the thumb before it spreads to the rest of her fingers/hand. It must have hurt alot for her, i want to sayang my mama :(

It warmed my heart alot when dad came home and the first thing he did was to ask how momsy hand is doing... if they hurt and if she's okay.

That made me extremely thankful.

For every single thing in life, there is something in everything to be thankful about.

My God never fails, He's ever faithful.

2011-07-14T18:12:00.009+08:00

1. cheese bun

2. wanton noodles

3. small frozen yogurt with honey stars

4. three mouths of tau huey

5. a bottle of green tea

6. a small pack of grain chips from cheers

7. a pineapple biscuit from home that i left tumbling in my bag for a week?

8. filet o fish burger

9. large twister fries

10.medium ice lemon tea

11.gong cha Oolong tea

(I think the side effects are working on me... i'm eating every minute?)

My left eye is twitching hard.

It sends creepy hunch whenever left eye twitches.

Yesterday was my appointment with the dermatologist specialist and you can say i had a pretty insightful time spent for a good 2hours? I had a good time chatting with my doctor for an hour-ish? and even met his boss. Both great doctors, speaking in parables to each other most of the time.

Lots of movement at the side where the nurse sat.. she keeps going in and out of the room and the last thing i recalled was her bringing a bag of stickers that says "DRUG ALLERGY" in my medical folder, and subsequently another nurse came in to pass more of those stickers and said " oh she's the one with alot of allergies ah?" Ermm... hello, i'm still in the room and i can hear you

yes?

Aftermath i was sent for blood test and I was honestly thinking that i might cry when the doc asked for a blood test, to my surprise he asked for not one, but TWO blood samples from me. That meant 2 bottles of blood, i guess by saying that you want 2 bots of blood sounds less painful than one. So i left the consultation room and waited to be called into another room to draw my blood, oh boy. my hands were cold! Then the moment came, i walked into the room and there were not one but 4 nurses... do you seriously need so many people to draw 2 bots of blood? then the moment came, she took a look at my right hand and then on the left.. conclusion? LEFT ARM! I didn't even dared to look at the entire process, she was good. I barely felt a pinch... phew.... :) then i asked... Can i take a photo of my blood?? haha!

They burst out laughing, and i pushed for it. So the 3 nurses were kind enough to let me take photo of one of the bot, as the other longer bot has my particulars on it so they didn't felt safe enough for me to snap a photo... . . the other nurse tried negotiating with me but oh well, she failed and walked out of the room.. oops. guessed i spoil her day and she must have cursed me or something..

Let me share some interesting photos! haha

Did some researches online about the medicine that i'm order to consume daily

it's called "CETIRIZINE HYD" I'm usually very cautious when it comes to medicine consumed not fully because i'm fussy but I don't want to jeopardize the rest of my body at the cost of side effects. Especially when you're with a specialist, medication given are usually rare if not unavailable at our common clinic. it's like eating overseas, you want to eat street food but not at the cost of getting food poisoning.

Today, i experienced 3 side effects. . .

Drowsiness, increase of appetite(every girls nightmare), fatigue.

I'm going to try taking them for the next 3 days, we'll see how...

If side effect still persist, i might just stop the cause of medication.. .

The moment i saw this bot, i kinda relate myself to the drama (True Blood)

Perhaps i should change my name to Sookie and become a fairy! VAMPIRES!

My blood is being sent for investigation, what crime did they commit?

This is how my doc's hand writing looked like.. i think my hand writing is much more friendly :D

And I wonder how profs mark their papers when they're all in meds school. haha

2011-07-12T16:12:00.002+08:00

Patrick Dempsey

Charming and he's 45!

Ang mo's just don't age well don't they? haha

Surprised to see him in Transformer, he's actually a car racer in reality too!

2011-07-11T16:13:00.000+08:00

MONDAY

2011-07-11T15:36:00.003+08:00

Jumped out of bed at 6am, met up with Chloe at Outrum mrt station, 9am....

I've the Singaporean spirit, "Kia shu"

Man, the journey on the train was suicide!

How do all these people go to work everyday on the train 5 days a week?

Admiration please.

If i work in the CBD area and i've got to be at the office by 9am, i'd have to hop on the train at 7.30am. Not just that, the journey alone would have spoil my day by half.

True experience to that, i totally tasted every bit today. The train that i was in broke down for some good 10 minute in the middle of the platform... it was awkward but people on the train seems pretty used to it already?

And I've got this loud voice ringing in my heart and quickly accelerated to my head shouting out

I don't want to be one of them!! No, i don't see myself working a mundane 8-5 office desk bound job. And it felt miserable, it was as if I automatically segregate myself from being normal.

Soon, i arrived at Outrum... earlier than 9am

My eyes light up as i spot "Mr bean" I was so happy! bought 2 Pearly ice blended soya drink

Got up to the ground level, sat at the bus stop opposite HSA and SGH...

Then at that very spot, my heart stirred. I don't know how to fill my passion, collaborate interest and answer my call in life. Constant prayer. I'm running out of time. haha

And why on earth did i meet Chloe so early in the morning at Outrum??

Well, I decided to pay my school next year a visit after doing much research online

It finally felt right to complete my degree with Northumbria University. Newcastle. Nevertheless, locally in collaboration with MIS.

Going over to New castle would be fantastic but it's defiantly something me and my family could not afford. It only sounds wise to do it locally. I'm all ready to do well in school.

Doing well is addictive, puts you at a higher level of stress but good stress spurs you further to do better academically. With God, and hard work. Nothing is impossible :)

Awwwww......

2011-06-30T15:47:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!

2011-06-30T15:24:00.002+08:00

: )

2011-06-28T21:34:00.003+08:00

SHE SLEEPS IN OVERSIZED T-SHIRT

AND THAT'S PROBABLY THE ONLY TIME SHE'S AT PEACE WITH HERSELF

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

2011-06-28T21:07:00.001+08:00

It's so hard not to love Johnny Depp!

HEART JOHNNY! : )

KYLIE APHRODITE TOUR

2011-06-28T20:07:00.002+08:00

Gonna be at her concert tomorrow!!

Boy! I'm EXCITED!

Okay, I'm just pretending to be excited but really I'm feeling all messed up like cables on the inside right now. I'm excited for the concert tomorrow but I'm not excited now... :\

do you get what i'm saying? Okay, never mind...

It sucks to be broke.

Never been so broke before.

No I do not envy the rest of my pals who are doing well, I just want to do well.

Urrgggh...

V is a grumpy lady today.

And today only.

Can i cuddle u pleaseeeeeee. . .

2011-06-27T14:02:00.002+08:00

hehehe

SOoooooo CUTE! ^^

Silly

2011-06-26T01:07:00.002+08:00

It's 1.10am now and i'm waiting to watch "DC Cupcakes" on tv at 1.55am!

INSANE!

when you have work the next day? yes, it is! i.n.s.a.n.e.

but i really want to watch so i'd pay the price of lesser sleep.... a n d

HOPEFULLY! i can wake up on time LATER!!!

I had a great sunday, and boy. Time flies when they're good times!

woke up at 1pm, showered, visited grandma with momsy and aftermath we bused to AMK

to pick up some stuff, then back home.... I washed my shoes, packed my room, and did some decor to my ever UNCOMPLETED room that never looked perfect in my eyes....

Oh the agony. Going to be perfect i should say... at least it sounded encouraging. haha

I'M S L E E P Y. . . .... ....

Saturday ROLL-er-coaster

2011-06-25T04:40:00.000+08:00

4AM- Mild rash

5AM- Massive rash, difficulty in breathing

5AM-Cabbed to KTPH alone

5AM-8AM> Worst 3 hrs of my life, to top that up, i forgot to bring my phone.

8AM-9AM> Discharged! YAY! walked back home

9AM-4PM> Rest

5PM-9PM> Church and hanged out with good friends

9PM-2AM> Hanged out with jh, dinner, movie, bought a pair of shoes

2.30AM> HOME!

That 3 hours could possibly be the worst or the loneliest one could ever have to go through and

As much as it was awful, i'm thankful that I'm trained independent. Sometimes, i very much wish that i could be more dependent... my attitude stinted while i'm under observation, probably because I was so pissed at myself..

3rd reaction and I never fail to walk out that A&E's glass door alone. No one waits for me right outside the benches where all the patients next of kin would wait. Yet, my heart is always full.

I couldn't explain why, but I guess, God filled all the emptiness that i would have felt.

He never failed to show up everytime i'm in pain of any form.

He's ever faithful, when no one was there, when i'm alone, He was there.

I'm human and that makes me unqualified to judge, i choose to love and not judge.

No matter who you are, you are loved.

Adele - Set Fire To The Rain (Live On The Graham Norton Show) 29/04/11

2011-06-25T04:24:00.000+08:00

Adele - Someone Like You (Live On The Brit Awards 2011) 15/02/11

2011-06-25T04:14:00.000+08:00

Gloomy week YET?

2011-06-24T04:20:00.000+08:00

Feeling extremely jaded towards my job, tell me it's normal?

(shouts) It's a need to fall in love with this job all over again!

Food for thought.

"There's always, always, always something to be thankful about"

BREAKFAST dates with me

2011-06-22T14:18:00.002+08:00

Food For Thought

8 Queens Street

WILD HONEY

#03-102, Mandarin Gallery

HATCHED

#01-06, Evans Lodge

The Plain

#01-01, 50 Craig Road

Spruce

320, Tanglin Road

Phoenix Park

OVEREASY

#01-06

One Fullerton

Strictly Pancakes

44A, Prinsep Street

knock knock brain, you there? PARANOID

2011-06-17T15:59:00.005+08:00

It is always the case when tomorrow is my off day, finally.

On a night like this, i just want to catch some dramas or movies

get some things done while the sleep monster kicks in crazy

While days that i need to sleep and wake up for work? Insomnia hits.

I don't understand my body at all.

sometimes i even feel that i need a chart to record every single detail down! haha

BTW, i just received my cell phone bill

It's $358.87??

Never hit so high in the history of using my cell phone, am i shocked?

Kinda, but also prepared for it as i was overseas in may, and did something very unwise by switching on my data roaming.

Starhub sucks.

They do. As their loyal customer for so many years they choose to cut my line whenever they feel like doing so TWICE just because i missed a month's bill payment.

HELLO! it's not like i didn't pay or i'd run away you know?

how about cutting a business man's phone line?

you wouldn't because they'll sue you for all the loss incurred!

I've had enough of starhub's nonsense.

You've lost me as a customer for sure.

In fact i was so sure that i canceled one of my existing line on the spot and you don't even care at the expense of loosing me as your customer? how far can you go with this attitude?

how many loyal customer can you retain at the end of the day?

did it ever occurred to you that every customer you loose is going to tarnish your reputation somehow? It is your lose and other telecom service's gain.

You don't need a business undergrad to teach you that don't you?

gees.

1. Wrecking my brain now to think of what to buy for my best friend's birthday

which is technically today but we're celebrating tomorrow...

Gonna "PARTY" oh yes. you totally get what kind of "party" we're talking here...

2. Wrecking my wallet because i want to buy a gift for another close friend who's birthday falls on 20th June but I've got not enough cash to fulfill that gift as we're gonna be celebrating her birthday on the 19th at the USS! we paid for her ticket so you can say it's already a gift but what's birthday without presents right? haha... there's only so much i can do now :(

3. The next few month of the year.

I'm excited, and will be very happy. Ahh, this kind of joy :)

Because my current job does not allow me to spend nor save as much as what I've planned

I might have to take up another part time job again.

Don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining, sad or here for some self pity talk.

Actually I'm quite excited and more than willing to lay down all the hard work i need to a job that i enjoy (:

4. My brain

I'm suppose to pour the water in the pail, i poured them into the sink

This is just one of the many things that i do everyday but recently they've been all messed up. Not because i'm forgetful... surly i can sense that out if it is.

It just doesn't feel right, prior to that there was a day my right eye twitched for a whole day. Not feeling right, i did some research online and found out that it could be due to the long hours spent before my computer that causes the nervous system in the brain to send out those signals.

Even spelling. I used to be able to spell out what i want to type out correctly. Now when i type, what i want to interpret does not match with what i see. Wanted to visit a doc but i'm afraid that interpretation would not be as precised as it should be described. As far as i'm concern, if i'm walking, breathing, eating and still alive. I should not pay any extra attention to this anymore, it's making me worry unnecessarily. And like it or not, I want to believe that i'm in good hands of the Lord, even if i'm sick. By His stripes i am healed(:

ASTONS @ SSC in conjunction with celebrating Father's day in advance!!

We had a great feast, and really good quality time spent together as a family.

I'm extremely thankful to be born in this family, and truly God has been really good to me.

Ever love somebody so much that every single flaw they have seems so perfect in your eyes...

I think that is called love. Because i loved them so, all the flaws seems flawless.

There is nothing more i could ask from them, but there's so much more for me to give.

Buttered the week before flying

2011-06-13T16:08:00.002+08:00

What a coincidence!

The same photographer who took photos last year at zoukout took this photo at butter.

For a first timer hitting butterfac, well. Pretty good?

A social platform for clubbers and classy people

Probably the best view you can get in singapore of the MBS too

I enjoyed my night, got tipsy and did some stupid stuff like posing in the toilet of

The Fullerton Hotel.

HAHA

13 hr coma

2011-06-09T19:58:00.001+08:00

Officially hate sleeping

lover of ample rest.

It's like I've slept enough for the entire week, much to accomplish now..

what a month, June is like hell. but I kinda like this kind of hell

Whatever your hands find to do,

do it with all your heart, with all your might, and with all your MIND!

I might just get married to my jobs. haha!

2011-06-03T17:34:00.004+08:00

Flaws...

Thinking too much, thinking too deep.

Like i said. It's a flaw.

As many times as I've stared at those 2 walls of mirrors in my room, they shined all my flaws and maybe some pimples?

A freako that magnify my character flaws, and i'm still trying to be a better person.

did i just demonstrate my flaws?

oh well. i do love those mirror alot.

Casualty of my own thoughts

2011-06-01T02:00:00.002+08:00

Ever felt like you're hurt by your own thoughts? (Countless times)

Kinda like stabbing yourself in the flesh, yes. That's how hurting it feels right now, no doctors can i go to, no medicine i can take.. well, maybe there is, some lavender oil maybe?

Hate to say that i don't belong in your world since our last conversation

There isn't sparks nor chemistry i'll just have to walk away

It's like resuscitating someone who gave up on themselves.

Brains can't keep true love apart, minds will.

Boof!

You know it's kinda amazing that i made it to work earlier than i should be?

I even had time to buy breakfast!

work was pretty awesome i should say, sent my burberry wallet for washing and it was such an embarrassing moment while emptying my wallet, there was a condom in one of those slot which was given by my girls... oh my... oh my.. haha...

Met up with an insurance agent today... oh insurance...

Are you covered?

That is one good thought to digest, analyse and put it all to execution...

*I can't believe i didn't said hi to you today, actually it kinda felt like nothing.

Guess the lavender oil is helping, i'm sleepy (:

The revisit of insomnia

2011-05-31T02:18:00.000+08:00

Hemm..

How do you define success?

Absolutely irrelevant to what's on my mind or what you're gonna read later...

Obviously i'm being kept up by insomnia, as you can see from the title of this entry.

Or should i say i brought it upon myself by watching Grey's Anatomy at night when i know it gets my brain working and heart pumping harder every episode?

Man, the adrenaline... it's like taking a swim in the ocean, diving into it...

well at least by the end of the episode the reality kicks me hard in the face and well that sucked.

Can't wait to visit NY, check out Seattle and LA...

I've been wanting and dreaming to go there since i was a child, even if it's just to take some photos, have a cup of coffee, or to breath the air there would satisfy my soul.

Cheer up! I will get there some day, if not one day. It's not that hard, i'll just work my a** there!

If not work there! oh well, you never know if such opportunities arise yes? I mean anything can happen in this world! Sometimes i think of NY like a little tiny piece of heaven, it's like coming back from that big city will make me brand new when i'm back to our small island, or at least being inspired by the big lights and all... and and.. time square, central park... the museums ect..

It's all gonna be amazing, i can't wait. As i imagine myself being in NY my vision didn't include anyone else, or should i say it's gonna be a journey of inspiration to the west alone?

well, that's not what i should worry about! I believe God have already had all that covered(:

Can't wait!

In the mean time, i shall get back to my research.

All good things work out for those who loved Him.

2011-05-29T01:23:00.001+08:00

Apologies for my previous emotional entry, blame my hormones alright?

I'm back and doing well, as may's coming to an end after June half of the year would have gone by drawing 2012 closer. I can't wait!

God has been really good and kind to me in 2011.

I'm very thankful, grateful and blessed in every way, I've no lack in any area of my life.

Even if there is, every morning there's new hope and strength to draw from to fight for another day.

just in case

2011-05-17T14:15:00.002+08:00

Just want to leave some last note here... (IN CASE)

If anything bad ever happened to me, I've no money to delegate for anyone

but my only wish is to get my parents saved so that i may see them in heaven.

And for all my friends to get saved too (:

My birthday wish for 9 years.. the one and only wish. is to have momsy n dad saved.

I love ya'll with all my heart, but i loved God with all my mind, my soul and even more of the heart.

He has always been the number 1 in my life, He will always be.

I hope one day, you too will know how much He loves you.

ok, i think that's all.

I'm feeling so shitty from this flu, just want to get well before i fly.

bye sg!

Why i love my job

2011-05-11T15:58:00.004+08:00

It makes people happy

I can use my lappy all day long and it is defiantly allowed

I get to eat yogurt all day long at 10% discount

I get to do chores like cleaning the place and moping the floor

In this island i live, contains the smartest and the richest people in the world

I hope i'm in their league with alittle more heart and purity.

*Just when i thought i'm different from other girls, i'm actually as dependent as they are.

the independent in me has disappeared somehow.

Pen down

2011-05-11T00:17:00.000+08:00

Much anxiety, heart is racing and negative thoughts are rushing from the right

For the first time in my life, i had a meal with a doctor, we chatted for 2hrs straight..

I think i talked too much, or rather i was talking most of the time, bombarding questions and all.. I replied a text and asked to meet again after i'm back from bangkok and he's back from kL and he didn't reply...

you have no ideal how embarrassed i am feeling now...

The price to pay for being a girl who is so bold sometimes... BOOOHOO!

I think he'll never want to meet me again man. i'm scary. BOO!

So thrilled to see nice bags, recently i'm quite hooked onto Manhattan Portage bags

and i'm considering if i should buy one before flying...

gosh, i'm just so hyped out on the inside that i can't settle down to sleep in the cold room

next door. should i buy the bag?? $139 you know!

should i just buy anw? i have the ultimate urge to buy it tomorrow already.

WASTE MONEY LEH, HOW AR?

broken pieces

2011-05-10T00:42:00.000+08:00

A part of me feels broken today

I'm constantly out with couples, you can call me the light bulb?

as much as i envy them and feel happy for them a small part of me feels broken

and questions why the hell am i still not attached.

They'll throw at me, it is not that no one liked you.

It's you. you're rejecting them!

Some asked if i'm lesbian, lately even more asked..

My answer:

I'm not willing to invest my time and heart in a man whom i don't feel enough for.

Maybe you'll say, i'm just too afraid to love and will never know if my relationship would work out unless i've tried.

you're actually right, i'm still afraid to try.

I promise i will when it felt right, i know he's somewhere out there.

I'm hopeful, but i do not yearn, i'm happy being this independent girl that i'm wearing.

life is great, and i'm loved in every possible way already.

stupid girl

2011-05-08T19:07:00.002+08:00

I actually wa-ed you when you didn't even bother to leave me a single text for 2 days.

stupid girl saying hello to everyone reading this entry.

I actually have feelings for someone who's not of my race

who is a skater boy, plays guitar and smokes.

please don't get me wrong, i'm not being judgmental here yes?

I'm just trying to describe to you who i'm talking about here.

He's not exactly tall, has big gorgeous eyes, really know how to win girls heart with his words

Sometimes he complains that i'm too independent.

he complains that i always reject his good intentions... like sending me home via train/cab

but he lives in pasir ris!!! i'm just being thoughtful by saying no right?

Misses

2011-05-06T13:14:00.003+08:00

I'm missing all my pals in sjab

Those days were good, glorious and very satisfying.

Most of them are in the medicine, had became nurses if not doing other

stuff in the local universities.

What the hell am i doing? this question appears 14936476937 times in my head everyday

sometimes very demoralizing to answer, especially when the mind

is constantly at war with my heart.

Even after so many years, i still cannot come to a decision to what i want to do in life but i know i'm not alone. Not everyone knows their calling and destiny in life. We work hard everyday to hope that one day we'll know what we're finally doing is right.

I didn't know why i'm not into medicine or why i didn't became a nurse or paramedic.

I didn't know why i didn't want to lay my life down, and humble myself to the very end, go back to the kingdom of God and live my dream for Him.

I didn't know why i didn't work hard enough in my drawings so that i could earn a place in the arts school.

Everyday i live in a cage of dreams waiting to be released, waiting to fly, waiting to flourish.

Yet, all in all. i don't know what i want in life.

knock

2011-05-05T01:12:00.002+08:00

When you search for love, love doesn't find you

When you don't search for love, they'll come knocking at your door.

Tonight is just one of those nights where i don't feel like talking

I just want to cuddle up and sleep, i just want to feel loved with nothing said

but everything felt.

Who said love isn't a feeling?

If it isn't, then you haven't been in love enough.

Doomed

2011-05-01T02:30:00.000+08:00

1. Sleep in on a sunday

2. Woke up with breakfast

3. Left for lunch with wendy

4. Went to church, learnt so much. more than that, my faith grew a little.

5. Night shift at RM, disaster at first and then sweet closing

6. Got home, freaking hot...

7. Sitting before my com, eating yogurt with expired blueberries (ibelieve?)

Emotionally tired, physically awake. hot night. grateful and thankful to God for everything i'm blessed. He is a good God.

Anxiety attack

2011-04-29T01:10:00.000+08:00

On a night like these...

more than a billion things running in my tiny head...

burdens

and other miscellaneous... thoughts and lots of thoughts.

words could barely comprehend how i feel, or what i can do.

I have faith, i prayed. The rest is up to God.

Not exactly a good day, i woke up late for work... ( all thx to my alarm clock)

spent unnecessary/could have saved $ on cab, caught in the rain...

traveled to the hospital, very burden. oh i'm out of words again

Got home and sure i was freaking tired, but once i'm before my computer it's like

i'm switched on again. so yes, this is me. awake, not so sleepy, very burdened.

Oh God, if you hear me.

Please answer my prayers, she needs You.

We are with you

2011-04-27T20:30:00.000+08:00

Unpredictable things happens and before we know it

people are thrown into situations that forces them to be strong and carry on.

whatever you're going through, we're here with you.

Never will you be alone no matter how bleak the situation it may be.

Stay strong, we love you.

Praying for you and your family faithfully.

Why?

2011-04-18T00:48:00.000+08:00

When will i stop pushing people who perhaps genuinely cares and truly wants to be there for me?

I'm sorry if you're one of them

I appreciate every kind intention and without a doubt

believe that you mean well

Maybe one day I'll eventually open up

It is not that i refuse to trust nor wouldn't wanna take a risk

I've risked it all for the one that i loved so dearly and i lost it all.

Though there's nothing more to loose now except my life

I've yet met the right one whom i know loving him is worth giving my all.

I'm not interested in fooling around, i'm more than that.

:)

2011-04-17T02:26:00.000+08:00

Look for someone,

Who'll never get tired of kissing you everyday

Who'll hug you when you're jealous

Who'll understandingly keep silent when you're mad

Who'll squeeze your hand when you're not in the mood

Who'll plan the future and imagine you in it

And when you find that someone, don't ever let go.

Searching. . . . . . .

Demoralized

2011-04-12T00:24:00.000+08:00

you're a joke heaven played on me.

soul mate? honestly i thought u're the one but otherwise turned out as usual.

I had a bad day, or should i say it only became sour from 5pm...

Was happy and excited to really sell the products at one of the busiest outlet,

prayed up and all ready to conquer to sell at least 3 item as prior to yesterday's

sales of 2 item, and further more today's working hour is longer which means i'll get to

sell even more products.

But then, life is well planned for otherwise.

I SOLD NONE!! and i swear i tried my best..

It is extremely demoralizing because this is one of the outlet with the best crowd

and people would be willing to spend and YET no sales from 5.30pm-9.30pm?!

Honestly, they don't even need me to be there and the product will sell by itself

and yet i'm given the opportunity to sell even more but to my HORROR there were no

sale.

please allow me to rant here, I've no where to rant...

can't rant at.. facebook because it's too over reacting

can't rant at... twitter because it's too loud

can't rant at... a person because there's none and too childish to do so

so here's my only place to rant, if not i'll start talking to myself.

What's more?

Received a call from momsy that she burned her hand while cooking that her skin turned

BLACK! chao ta! yes, i almost stopped breathing when she said so. Then she confirmed with

me that it isn't serious enough to visit a doctor yet and asked to buy burn cream...

I came home, tired. showered, soaked my last pair of jeans in water...

and as usual getting my clothes ready for the next day and then..

THE REST OF THE JEANS/LEGGINS were all not washed!!!!

apparently momsy had ignored the laundry since last friday and i haven't realized because

i'm so busy getting in and out of the house to work!

Then how? blame who? me.

yup, blame me, everything also blame me. i just kept quiet and throw every thing that

needs to be washed into the washing machine and now i'm waiting for the machine

to call me and tell me it's ready for hanging.

Ok, i'm done here

today's a fucked up day okay.

I hate this "caught in the mess" feeling and you can be sure

that i'm sleeping it away in awhile...

good day to all!

It's mid week!

Sunday blues

2011-04-10T01:04:00.000+08:00

Is it possible to be so blue even before monday starts? YES.

The mind is at war with the heart

My mind seemed to have left me today : /

The worst kind of laziness is being lazy in the mind.

And i honestly think i suffer that most of the time, awful day>>>nothing went according

to plan, not even one.

long week ahead, working everyday.

Dear me,

Please pull through, i don't care how you do it...you just gotta do it.

you are strong enough to do it, you can do it.

Breakfast makes you happy, so have breakfast everyday

Certainly you are working because you need $_$ so please be motivated and put all

those feelings away into the dustbin. oh yes,

and don't forget to wear those smiles. As usual, be real. be strong. be genuine.

Ok,

I'm done self-motivating myself.

whatdup!

I'm suppose to be sleepy!!! oh man.

please let me sleep, i want to wake up early for breakfast!!

Have a great week everyone! :)

No money, but extremely ambitious.. not enough time in life to accomplish them all :(

2011-04-09T16:07:00.003+08:00

Doctor

Paramedic

Nurse

Canoeist

Outdoor trainer

Apparel Designer

Personal Assistant

Cup cake shop owner

Hello Friday

2011-04-08T14:52:00.002+08:00

Ooo, i love everything in that photo (:

Simple and chic, i could easily think of different outfits to pair that scarf with now

and that bag goes well with almost anything that scarf as well!

Thurs-

Well i'm suppose to be up early at 8.30am, i find myself awake only at 12.30pm

Lethargy is the right word i should say.

Blessed am i to wake up with lunch ready in the kitchen, apparently momsy had gone to the market w/o me and she packed our favorite chicken feet noodle, you may ask. Why favorite?

The chicken feet noodle is so good & tasty that it's sold out by 10am in the morning at chong pang market! And it's really awesome because i don't eat chicken feet but absolutely go crazy eating up all the noodle! the sauce they use is just different from the other CF noodle!

ALL MUST TRY! so good!

ok, i sound kinda crazy but i'm a fan!! :)

Accompanied momsy to KTPH for her appointment at the women's clinic to collect

her results.. and PRAISE GOD! she's fine and all well! (:

And as usual, i always say>>>Doctors don't look like doctors, they should hire me to shop for their clothes and go for make over, have their hair dyed to cover all the white hair and dress like their age! you'll be shock to find out how young they are but dress 10 yrs older than they should!

Tea time with momsy at Macdonald

Nostalgic (:

Many years ago it was the other way round, i'd get balloons and take lots of straws to connect

them long enough to irritate any adult near me. oh, my kiddo days (:

Sometimes i can't express enough that i'm so blessed to have momsy in my life, grateful and thankful that she is so loving and ever sacrificial for the family. you deserve more than whatever i could give you now. love you plenty, don't know what i'd be without you.

Update soon!

Fret Not

2011-04-07T23:54:00.003+08:00

Sore swollen red right eye

numbness on the right side of my face, am i getting stroke or something head feels like migraine might hit anytime on the right side also.

I wish I've got a doctor friend to speak to right now and i do have one

but he's not online! oh well, probably working now.

sharks. please, i can't be getting stroke at 22!

in Jesus name, i will be healed. i will be fine.

A-men!

2 things on my mind at 2.11 am

2011-04-03T02:10:00.000+08:00

2 thoughts.

Just ended our usual phone call, and this is thought 1.

If you cannot adapt to my hectic schedule than perhaps i'm not the one for you.

I understand that your schedule is probably more fixed and stressed out in school but you've got to also understand that i'm in a total different league as you, i juggle 3 part time jobs and will be starting school in September and once school starts i'll be even busier.

I need someone to be there for me even though we may not even have time to meet.

FYI, i do not sleep early, it's in me for the longest time and if i could i would, if staying up for me is too tiring for you then i'd rather you go to bed first.

I'd rather you rest early so you could focus in lectures than staying up for me.

I would feel bad, and i wouldn't feel touched that you made an effort to stay up for me.

This is me, this is how i operate. I'm sorry. you made me feel really upset earlier, i'd rather you go to sleep and not called me.

Thought 2

After ranting out in "thought 1" my eyes are going mad. Mad tired.

Standing up for who and what you believe in is a daily battle people go through

It's like how we choose to stand up for the people we love, it could be really simple if you choose to rely on one expensive word called "trust"

Without trust, there is no love. Like wise you cannot love without trust.

Everyday, i fight for the people i trust and i choose to believe in them with all my heart and no

questions asked you know i will stand up for them even at the cost of my life.

It could be for a friend, anyone.

Countless time i feel so tired just fighting with my own strength, my own words, and they may not even know me. But i find comfort and rest knowing that God knows because He is God, and i know so surely that His mercies are new every morning and there is hope in Him. I will always know that His love never fails and it knows no ends, He's my hope when i'm hopeless, He's the defender of the weak. He is God.

Nobody can put a knife on you and force you to believe in something you do not believe.

but don't put a knife on them when all they ever intended was of no harm.

In every love, there is sacrifices. So was His love (:

End.

OKAY,

Mentally drained

Physically 50% drained.... i must be running on long lasting battery or something!

I'm burned! sun burned....

Love my life!

April is one hell of a crazy month, i think i might forget how to breath but please don't

let me burn out or fall sick!! i cannot afford to break down or anything like that! haha

drinking lots of water and going to sleep now might help!

have a great week everyone!

Life is a fight! keep fighting!! :)

wha.. dammm tired now

cannot take it/

good night!

Restructuring

2011-03-30T14:39:00.002+08:00

Once in a while, i get these crazy ideas to revamp my room

and i cannot imagine the day that i'll have my own house with my spouse

or even alone. In fact i'm collating my ideas for the new home in the future already!

You cannot deny that i think loads and think way too far sometimes.

Honestly believe that it is in my genes to think too much. HAHA :D

Restructuring will start tomorrow at 8am till about 12pm

an early morning to get things going even on my off day, sounds tiring but definitely

excited to see the end result. Aftermath, i'll be at the hospital with momsy for her

consultation from 2pm and that should wrap up by evening, dinner with family

and then home!

I'm so tempted to save up for a television right now, they are not exactly expensive

but then again, it's not really a need. More like i'll have to save up really hard for my trip

in may. it's crazy! 1k is so hard to save! but it's possible with hard work, discipline and diligence.

It is how far you're willing to stretch, you will find the discipline to do it

when your motivation is right.

Amazing the way it is

2011-03-28T16:26:00.005+08:00

ife has been kind to me so far? good things, bad things... anything...

Common question asked: How are you?

Common me answering: I'm still alive/ I'm still breathing

I'm not being sarcastic alright! this is just me, answering the real deal

is kinda boring and i would probably don't know where to get started if you want

the real answer to how i am exactly doing in life... so yes. I've cleared my name.

As un-real this may sound, i'm having MONDAY BLUES:(

haven't had that for sometime and i can't help but to wonder if it's a sign that i'm getting jaded at work? not to worry i said, my 2nd pt job is slowly falling into place. perhaps i'm too "kan chiong"

why haven't they called me to go for training even when i signed the contract since last

thursday? i want to work!

"When we obey, we shall eat the good of the land"

Obedience is far better than sacrifice

you can run and hide, He still finds. He remains faithful even when i'm not.

He's love is higher than the mountains, deeper than the oceans far wider than the globe.

Everyday it's a battle to stand for the people you believe in, it's tiring.

But there is hope in every dawn, there's strength to draw from.

There is God who is strong when i am not, praises will never be enough to show

how much my love for You has grown.

Oh my goodness

2011-03-21T16:10:00.002+08:00

My heart nearly stopped beating when i received that very text this morning

I didn't know how to respond, i need time to digest (:

So not me, this is indecisive.

I've been strong for too long, being weak was never an option in my life &

That was the way i'm brought up, i learnt to be independent, i do not rely

on people to make things happen in my life. Not even when i'm sick, i refuse to

be taken care by love ones, i'd rather suffer alone.

But God is good, He's always with me

If there's one person i'll rely on, it would always be Him.

I'm not ready to love, i'm not ready to take this risk

I do not want to jeopardize our friendship.

I hope its just PMS?

2011-03-20T23:26:00.002+08:00

My face is naked.

I do not wear a mask, 99% of the time i don't wear make up

That is mega "bare-ness"

Even experts quote that it takes "make up" to look natural

I'm un-natural, you can see my polka dot pimples... haha :p

I see no reason to hide myself or try to be another person

I really like being transparent (:

I think i'm having "PMS"

or else it has got to be me spending time alone today.

Seems like it's a bad decision to do so.... i should never have times like these

again. They make me think much, and obviously that is NO good!

Good night for now, i want to try sleeping.

IT SHOW 2011! 10-13March/12pm-9pm

2011-03-08T14:10:00.005+08:00

I've decided to feature some really awesome products that i'm going to

play a part in selling for the upcoming IT SHOW!!!

I'm very excited because there's finally such a girly product available that is...

1. Good in sound quality ( Personal preference k!) we don't have the same ears! haha

2. Pretty

3. Affordable!

Here's the details!

IT show 2011 is happening this coming Thursday 10 March till 13 March

At Suntec convention center from 12pm-9pm daily.

Be there or be SQUARE!

The constant battle

2011-03-04T13:36:00.003+08:00

Everyday is a battle, every decision and thought has a pattern...

A deliberate effort amount of input in every single one of them

why and how to i asked.... not knowing what tomorrow brings all i could do is move

on and keep doing what seems right.

oh my, i'm turning 22 real soon

age is catching up, there's still so much to do!

life is just one amazing journey though most part of it sucked.

The abnormal

2011-03-03T23:17:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling so depressed now that i'm hiding myself in another room

Nothing is wrong, I'm just not happy tonight.

Spent too much time thinking alone and sorting things out earlier

killing me inside out...

It has nothing to do with anyone else except me.

The sound of it sucks.

MOVE ON!!! DON'T STOP! i gotta keep on doing what i'm doing and stretch!

here i am again, saying things only me, myself and i understand.

Forgive me readers! you know i love ya'll !

Please just let me speak in parables today....

Work was awesome

Dad was so sweet earlier, he's giving the bigger tv in his room for an exchange

of mine. Weather he'll do it or not is another story?

It's a blessing to come home with home cooked food, i had my share tonight

didn't ate much because i was feeling so darn freaking down. Pufffff~

I was never a pretty face, I'm much more than that.

The world sort after appearance, I do not belong to this world.

That's all.

I'm still sad.

Good night T_T