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Credits
©Glamouresque. |
Thursday, December 1, 2011
These words and feelings have zero gravity and they appeared exactly how it looks like in space. Every night I walk pass my parents room and as I watch them sleep. There's this uncontrollable wave of guilt and burden that crashes upon me like I'm the shore of certain beach. I wish someone could understand how this feels. wouldn't it be nice if I still had someone to talk to on the phone like how it used to be? while all the technologies are advancing, some things should remain vintage. >>(like talking on the phone for hours) Today, i walked into a place that my being felt really uncomfortable for the longest time. There's this certain atmosphere that allows a person to feel that they belong to a certain circumstance? and there's also one that the being rejects. I happen to step into the one my being rejected completely, while i used to have enjoyed myself in that very place but today i know i'd never step in again. I felt stupid, the people there need to get a life, most of them are weird. haha Today, also happened to be the class test for management accounting. while the question seemed easy, I probably did really badly. 10% of overall grade. I pray that whatever time remaining to the final paper will be clear enough to understand, there's only so much hard work one person can do, if the question is not precise it'll be redundant for me to work so hard for these numbers and formulas. Sometimes, I think I'm lost. It was liked trying to be someone new while living in the old self. I probably was lost since 2007. Have i found myself yet? nope. I'm in the new and the old. how complicating does that sounds uh? No surprise when new pals looks me in the eye and tells me how lost those eyes looked. you can have goals, and that is all good but without dreams and visions one perishes. constantly torn by what I want to do in life, what I need to do and what I love to do. dreams VS reality and needs. Can't they work out together you may ask. Yea, but i've got no courage and confident that i'd make it. And what really seems like it's happening now is that i'm putting those dreams aside and attending to what I need to do this season or years so forth. Torn. But I believe somehow God's plan is better than mine. I choose to just put my trust in Him, it's amazing how He's still a huge part of my life even though I haven't been an on fire christian for almost 4 years now. 9 years ago I accepted Jesus into my life. That is just one of the best decision I've made in life. you can't shaft what you believe in, into someone's life. the most you could do is to live out the kind of life what you believe in has taught you. Alright, my eyes are really tired now. and boy, it sucks going to bed only at 5am when i've been trying to go for morning runs. That's all. Zzzzzz . . . ... |
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